You may have noticed a theme in your experiences. The same pattern keeps happening over and over again. You end up in the same type of relationships, your jobs are a dead end, and you feel unhappy with yourself. One bad thing after another, only to leave you feeling burnout. And then, it happens.
A voice begins to say: “What are you doing? You know you will never amount to anything, so why even bother?” So you give in, and you listen. You even begin to believe what the voice is telling you without even caring where it comes from. But it must be true what the voice is saying. After all, it sounds like me, and it feels like I’m the one saying it. Soon your words become your beliefs. Your beliefs translate into your emotions, which in turn tell your body how to act. Your actions then determine your outcomes. So begins the cycle.
Picture this:
You’re walking along a busy street, in a rush to a job interview. Someone bumps into you, and spills coffee all over your clean white shirt. The person just keeps walking. You think to yourself, ‘They’re going to think I’m stupid for showing up to an interview with a dirty shirt.’ You then begin yelling, “You [insert derogative term here]! How dare you walk away and not even apologize?” You begin to feel significantly upset as you try to look for a nearby restroom in hopes of washing the coffee off your shirt. With your efforts unsuccessful, you proceed to the interview. Still angry, you catch an attitude with the secretary, and become defensive in the interview. Sure enough, you didn’t get the job, and the person who spilled the coffee on your shirt is the one to blame.
What’s wrong with this picture?
Consistently going through this process, is how you will continue to feel stuck. By not taking accountability for the contribution we make to our experiences, we continue to lose sight of the bigger picture. In the example above, where do you think it all went wrong? At what point did this person lose sight of the bigger picture? How can this person change the cycle?
To begin understanding what went wrong and how to change it, you need to first develop Awareness.
- To become aware means to give attention. When you give attention to what is happening inside and outside of your body, you become more equipped with an understanding of what needs to change.
- Give attention to what your thoughts are saying, what your body is feeling, and notice what triggered that response.
You are then able to gain Acceptance of the things that are out of your control.
- Acknowledge the fact that you are human, and it is okay to make mistakes. There is no perfect person.
- Choose to accept that another person’s mistakes are out of your control in order to allow yourself to see the experience with a different perspective. Your emotions about the event will become completely different. You may even become more empathetic as a result.
- Choosing to react positively in a negative situation, is also a sign of acceptance and maturity.
Finally, reward yourself with an Affirmation.
- Use positive self-talk and pat yourself on the back. You did well! You are capable of thinking, and acting differently.
- Be grateful for not allowing yourself to become upset over something out of your control. Having gratitude is a sign of strength, and will ensure that you continue to have positive outcomes.
Take a look at your own experiences. How will you change the cycle?
For more information, or to learn more about how you can become unstuck, call or send a message today!