As the holidays draw near, thoughts of family, friends, and quality time come to mind, and we reminisce on memories of past holidays. When it comes to grieving a loss, those thoughts can take a dark turn, and the memories may bring hurt more than they bring joy.
Grieving the loss of a loved one, human or animal, is a very daunting and challenging thing on its own. Unimaginable struggles come about during family gatherings, and events that celebrate the holiday season. These are things that can really heighten the feeling of grief, and provide a harsh reminder that a loved one is no longer here. At the same time, these traditions can prove to be very uplifting, and it can be reassuring to know that others are still around.
If you are grieving the loss of a loved one this holiday season, it’s important to know that you don’t have to take on every task, or event. There are things you may not be completely ready to deal with, and that is okay. Know your limits, and communicate with others when something does not feel right for you. It is understandable if you still need time, so take it slow and go at your own pace.
Despite some perceptions of grief, that it should be dealt with quickly, let it go, and move on, there are various ways in which people mourn, and each loss is different for each person. It may take weeks to months, or even years to get through the grieving process, and this process looks and feels completely different for everyone. One family mourning the loss of the same person will each have a different reason, time limit, and method of grieving. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, except when it causes harm to you or another person. Here are some tips to help you stay afloat this holiday season:
Make time for yourself
Whether it means skipping the venture altogether, or setting time aside for your own comfort before and/or after the gathering or event; it is important to establish a space where you can hash out the more intense feelings surrounding the loss. Communicate with others about your plan so that someone knows you are safe.
Don’t judge yourself
Whatever you are feeling or experiencing inside your mind or body, don’t fault yourself for it. When grieving during the holidays, a person can tend to feel extreme sorrow, guilt for celebrating with others, or try to completely numb themselves to feel nothing at all. Accepting whatever it is you are feeling/experiencing during this time is beneficial to your grieving process on a whole. Allow yourself to just be, no matter what anyone else thinks of you.
Talk to someone
Find a buddy, a close family member, or a therapist and just vent. During the holidays, it is very essential to get things off your mind that have been detained there for a while.
Another option can be to journal these pent up thoughts and emotions that you have ruminated on time and time again. Getting things out of your mind and onto paper brings a sense of relief, because they are no longer floating around with no place of their own. Writing them down gives them a place to live instead of in your mind.
Start your own holiday ritual
Is there a way you’ve wanted to say goodbye to your loved one? There’s no time like the approaching holiday season to build your own ritual. You can choose to make it a tradition of your own, or just a one-time thing. No one knows the exact way you are mourning your loved one, and neither can they understand. Your perspective is yours and yours alone. So it makes sense for you to find a safe activity which allows you to convey the message you want to give to your loved one.
What other ways help you to get through holiday grief?
For more information, or help with getting through grief, call or send a message today.
If you or a loved one is dealing with complicated grief in a way that you suspect is harmful to them or someone else, do not hesitate to get help by calling 911, or calling the 24-Hour National Suicide Prevention Hotline @ 1-800-273-8255.